Last night was the first night in months where my daughter slept her normal 11 hours from going down. It was so wonderful to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle another day this morning. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of sleep and rest!
A while back, I mentioned how becoming a mummy had made me more creative and want to make all this stuff including sewing a Christmas stocking. Well, we got the sewing machine from my husband’s grandma, finally figured out how to thread it up etc. I take no credit for that, my husband sorted all that out. The material came….just enough for the stocking and no more, so no room for error by someone who hasn’t touched a sewing machine in about 13 years!! Here’s a little look at how it’s going so far.
It just needs its cuff, loop and for me to add her name and it’s ready to be filled 🙂 It’s by no means perfect, but I hope as she grows up she will be excited getting it out every Christmas and that to her it will be perfect as it speaks to her of love.
It seems we get over one thing here and another thing comes along these days. Last week my little sweet pea with sick with some virus and didn’t sleep for 48 hours. Once she got over that, I then came down with the flu. There was no way that I could have looked after my daughter while my husband was at work, and my parents had commitments that meant they couldn’t make the trip down. But they wanted to help, so suggested I go there. So, the last few days me and my munchkin have been receiving lots of TLC from my parents. I am so grateful to have parents who care so much and are so willing to step in and help out. I hope I can be as good a parent to my children as my folks have been and are to me.
Yesterday, one of my aunts died very suddenly. It was quite a shock when I heard the news. Hearing about her sudden death brought home to me once again that life is a gift, not to be taken forgranted, but to be lived with purpose and gratefulness. Don’t waste your life. All we have is this moment. We are not promised tomorrow, just the moment we are currently in. let’s make all those moments count and be thankful for the life we have to live.
The last few weeks have been so overwhelming here. My little sweet pea has been having such issues with teething. She hasn’t been able to sleep much night or day, which obviously leaves the rest of us feeling shattered as well. At the same time separation anxiety has kicked in to the point where if I even turn my back on her she starts screaming. She doesn’t want to play near me or with me, doesn’t want to be left anywhere. My daughter is a high needs child, so she is really intense at the best of times. The past two weeks I have felt more overwhelmed than ever trying to deal with her. It didn’t help that I myself had an infected wisdom tooth as have been very drained as well.
I find myself wishing she was just “normal”. I find myself feeling jealous of friends’ babies who aren’t high needs and don’t have the same issues. I find myself feeling angry that she’s “out to get me” even though I know she is herself going through a difficult time and just wants her mummy. I then find myself feeling extremely guilty for thinking all these bad things. I find myself feeling the most intense love for her as I look at her all at the same time as these negative emotions are rattling around inside. Overwhelming…sometimes parenting can be that way. It’s not all sunshine and roses, often it requires the ability to keep going long after you have given up. And in a weird way, despite my daughter’s current struggles and those struggles being the cause of my frustrations, she’s also the reason why I keep going. I keep going despite being overwhelmed and wishing I could run away because she is worth it.
Have you ever had times like this as a parent?