Overwhelmed

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The last few weeks have been so overwhelming here.  My little sweet pea has been having such issues with teething.  She hasn’t been able to sleep much night or day, which obviously leaves the rest of us feeling shattered as well.  At the same time separation anxiety has kicked in to the point where if I even turn my back on her she starts screaming.  She doesn’t want to play near me or with me, doesn’t want to be left anywhere.  My daughter is a high needs child, so she is really intense at the best of times.  The past two weeks I have felt more overwhelmed than ever trying to deal with her.  It didn’t help that I myself had an infected wisdom tooth as have been very drained as well.

I find myself wishing she was just “normal”.  I find myself feeling jealous of friends’ babies who aren’t high needs and don’t have the same issues.  I find myself feeling angry that she’s “out to get me” even though I know she is herself going through a difficult time and just wants her mummy.  I then find myself feeling extremely guilty for thinking all these bad things.  I find myself feeling the most intense love for her as I look at her all at the same time as these negative emotions are rattling around inside.  Overwhelming…sometimes parenting can be that way.  It’s not all sunshine and roses, often it requires the ability to keep going long after you have given up.  And in a weird way, despite my daughter’s current struggles and those struggles being the cause of my frustrations, she’s also the reason why I keep going.  I keep going despite being overwhelmed and wishing I could run away because she is worth it.

Have you ever had times like this as a parent?

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