So, it’s been 9 months since our rainbow baby made her entry into the world.
I think we have all now adjusted to life with Rainbow Baby and being a family of 4. Miss E took to her baby sister much better than I ever dreamed she would. She absolutely adores Rainbow Baby who adores her in return. There is so much laughter from them both when they are together.
Rainbow Baby is an absolute delight. She is full of smiles and giggles, and she knows how to use her voice. She isn’t shy in getting her thoughts and opinions known especially when it comes to meal times. 🙂 Needless to say we have all enjoyed getting to know Rainbow Baby and she has brought so much to our family already. We are looking forward to many more months and years with her. Happy 9 months, baby girl!
So, our rainbow baby has arrived, and she’s now almost 3 months old, but better late than never to record the birth story 🙂 From the beginning my envisaged birth was a water birth at home with just my husband and eldest daughter present. I awoke at 4am on the morning of her birth with a knowing feeling that it would be the day. Once again, it was a weekend, so Mr P was at home. We went about our day. Miss E was rather tired, so she went for a nap and we stayed home from church. I lay in bed most of the morning. Around 10:30 am I got the odd surge but they averaged about 2-3 an hour from then. At 11:30 am, I came downstairs to tell Mr P it was time to fill the pool as we would be having the baby that day. He was rather dubious due to the fact I was extremely calm and didn’t seem to be in labour, but he did as instructed. By lunchtime I decided it was the right time to call my reflexologist for a treatment. She arrived around 1:45pm and gave me a treatment. Things were still very chilled out at this point. She left again about 3pm saying to go lie down and rest and she felt by 10pm the baby would be here. After she left, I told Mr P that I didn’t think it was going to take that long and I thought by 7pm baby would be here and Miss E would still be up. I went to lie down as I felt quite tired. Through this time Mr P and Miss E had gone to the shops for something we were out of, sorted our dinner which was cooking and smelling delicious and picked blackberries from the garden. By 4pm, I couldn’t lie down anymore as my body was telling me to stay upright, so I paced around the upstairs listening to some music, swaying back and forth while Miss E and Mr P played in the garden. Mr P came in around 4:40pm to get the rest of dinner ready. I told him I was heading to the shower for some heat therapy as my back was a little painful then. By now the surges had been coming quickly for an hour, so I knew we had hit active labour stage, but everything was still very calm. I came downstairs at 5pm in time for dinner, and Miss E had hurt herself, so I gave her a cuddle. When I set her down again and stood up, I had one very sharp intense pain, and I said to Mr P that it was time for me to get in the pool and to bring me dinner after he and Miss E were finished. So while they ate, I breathed in my essential oils and listened to my music. He brought me my dinner and I was so looking forward to eating that lamb curry, but as soon as I had the plate in my hand the intensity of the contractions increased and they came one on top of another, so i never got to eat more than 3 bites, as every time I tried to eat a mouthful, I’d have to hand everything back to Mr P so I could sway in the water. I gave up in the end and asked him to start the cd again, get more oils in my burner, and also to remain by the pool. Miss E was also there. About 6pm, I had 5 intense surges that made me cry a little and think I couldn’t do anymore without relying on some gas and air and only one person could get me that; and my dreams of my unassisted birth seemed to be slipping away, so, feeling rather defeated, I asked Mr P to call for the midwife. I now know those 5 surges and little cry was my transition phase. While Mr P was on the phone I knew the baby was coming and would be born as I had always envisaged. At 6:16pm, surrounded by the love of her closest family and born into an environment of peace, calm, safety, and familiarity, Miss K entered the world easily weighing a healthy 10 lb 1, and I delivered her and lifted her from the water myself. Nothing can describe the feeling of birthing your child alone and being the first to lay hands on them. It was the most natural experience and just as nature intended. I also gave my firstborn the gift I so wanted to bestow upon her; the gift of seeing firsthand that birth is a natural and normal occurrence, not a medical procedure, and when you focus on the right things, surges are not painful, your body relaxes and births can be an enjoyable and empowering experience. I have thoroughly enjoyed both my births, and I am so thankful to God to have been in much better health this time round and to have learned so much from both births. Hopefully, I can put what I have learned to good use in future. I praise God for the safe arrival of Miss K to our family, and for the wonderful gifts she will bring to our family as she grows and reveals more of who she is.
One thing I am learning and becoming all too aware of as my daughter grows is that motherhood is messy. It’s messy in a literal, physical sense where there are always sticky hand prints around, or toys in the wrong places, or mud trekked in through the house via the soles of little shoes. I am ok with that side of messy. Yeah, I have to clean up the same thing a gazillion times, but still, I can cope with that.
There’s the other side of motherhood that’s messy though and not so easily cleaned up-the emotional side. Ever get those days when everyone just falls apart? Voices rise, tears fall, harsh words come gushing out, doors slam. The mess is nasty, and hard to sort through. It puts cracks in relationships, builds barriers and everything is stressful.
We have had so many of these messy days lately. Developmental changes have brought new challenges for both of us as we try and figure out how to live harmoniously with each other, with our needs and our personalities. Miss E has been fashioned by God’s good hand into a very independent and strong character. All the qualities that are such a difficulty for me right now as her mother, will, one day, stand her in good stead as she ventures off into the world alone. But it’s getting from here to that point that is proving difficult. It’s a fine balancing act and a skilled dance as we figure this whole thing out together, and often we get it all wrong. We fail to understand each other. We fail to communicate with each other in loving ways. We fail to choose loving reactions. Yesterday was one such messy day.
On these messy days, I am thankful for two gifts: GRACE. Grace to try again. Grace to start anew. Grace to change. Rich, abundant grace. Where would we be without it? NATURE. Our happy place. A therapy for the soul. A place we can go together to ease the stresses and rediscover our way on this journey. There is colour therapy given via the flowers and the greenery, music therapy from bird song, the wind, water passing by, raindrops falling. There is peace, time to reflect, time to reconnect. Grace and nature: our balm to soothe away the strife. How do you cope with the messy days of parenting? How do you reconnect with your child?
I am a good bit over the halfway mark now in this pregnancy (if baby decides to come when it has been estimated to arrive). Baby is doing well and growing as expected. The vomiting has mostly stopped now hurrah! I am so thankful, as it means that, this time, unlike with Miss E, I am able to feel excited about the baby inside instead of just wishing away the days until I could be done and feel well again.
I am also thankful that this time around we are able to get osteopathic treatment for my SPD so I can avoid ending up in various braces and walk without the support of crutches. It has made such a difference to my life especially with needing to care for Miss E and ensure that she can still get to see her friends weekly.
My latest issue is the fact that I am not sleeping well at all which is affecting my SVT some days. I either can’t get to sleep due to baby having a party in my womb, my legs being agitated, my brain buzzing, heartburn etc, or I get woken up by something and then I cannot get back to sleep. Exhaustion makes you do weird things like put items in cupboards that should be in the fridge or leave the oven on for hours after you have eaten what you had in there, and I have now officially banned myself from cooking rice until this baby is born as in the last week, I have burned it twice due to being so tired I’ve forgotten it’s even cooking, argh! Oh the joys of the pregnancy journey 🙂
I really cannot believe how fast this pregnancy and year are flying by. How did we get to April already?!?! I have so much to cram into a very short space of time, like ensuring I take Miss E on a few special days out just the two of us now I am feeling somewhat better, getting our house on the market in the next 2 weeks and sold ASAP so we can get moving before baby arrives, and there are a few things I want to make for baby as well. Time, please slow down for just a little while!
I am convinced that every effort must be made in childhood to teach the young to use their own minds. For one thing is sure: If they don’t make up their minds, someone will do it for them.
Well, I thought I’d be able to write about the lovely nature walk Miss E and I were to have this morning. We had a little seed bag from Nature Detectives printed off and stuck together to go looking for things like acorns and chestnuts with a group of friends. The weather was lovely for it too.
I put Miss E down early for a nap as I wanted her to have at least an hour before we left otherwise she would miss out on her nap and she didn’t sleep so well. She went straight to sleep and I had trouble waking her up. I almost left her sleeping and cancelled, but as we had already missed two other events this week due to circumstances, I decided we needed to go.
About 10 minutes from our destination in the middle lane coming up to a roundabout just after being on a dual carriage way, I needed to change down gears and slow down to come up to the roundabout. Horror of horrors there was this awful grinding noise and NO GEARS. I tried every single gear while braking to no avail. I whacked on the hazards, and came to a standstill about 2 car lengths from the roundabout.
I was now in a dangerous place with a child in the back who could get smashed into at any moment with no way of getting us tot he side of the road or out of the car. Cars kept streaming past us on both sides. I had no info on our breakdown cover so needed to get in touch with Mr P, but he was unavailable. The moment I thought he could be in a meeting and may be in that meeting for a very long time and I would have no way of getting us rescued panic started to creep up on me slowly.
Just as my mind was about to unravel a man pulled up beside me in the other lane and asked if I wanted him to push the car in to the side so we wouldn’t be in harms way. Relief! At least I wouldn’t be a target any more. He and his friend pushed us in under the bridge and up the curb. Shortly after that I finally managed to get in touch with Mr P so he could sort out breakdown recovery. Then I had to get Miss E out of the car and walk on some very dicey parts of the road to get to McDonalds which was thankfully not too far from where we broke down.
We sat there and awaited Mr P and the RAC’s arrival. We got home safe and sound, and now we have plans for the weekend….trying to find a new car. We have been holding off, hoping we could ditch the two and get one good car when we are able to move, but there comes a point when constant major repairs are just too much and it’s all too unsafe.
I am thankful for God’s protection on us today and all week. I was quite annoyed at having had to miss the other two events, but looking back I can see the Hand of Providence. Both those journeys were rather long and involved motorway driving (not a place I’d like my clutch to go-yes that was the issue in the end not my gearbox), and also mr P is out of the country for a few days next week when I would have had to make one of those long journeys again. I would have been totally stranded then as we have no one near us who could’ve rescued me.
And, now to unwind from the days events. Did you have any adventures this fine Friday?!
I’ve had a super long break from writing anything, and that is mainly because the past few months have been pretty stressful and I’ve not felt like writing at all. My energy was taken up by just getting out of bed in a morning to face another day. Things have improved slightly, so I feel like writing a bit again. Life has been interesting and the results of the last few months are that we are getting our house ready for sale so we can move. We thought we had found the right house for us which was a new build and would mean it would be easier for us and we would be able to make use of the new Help To Buy scheme in the UK, but it hasn’t worked out. It was in the same area as we are now, so I am not sure whether it was the house that was wrong or the location that was wrong. There are so many reasons we have to move that are affecting my mental health and well-being as well as the more practical/financial reasons. Here’s a little list:
-The enormous amount of work needing to be done here and the huge amounts of cash the house is swallowing up with problem after problem. We bought the house as a project, and when it was just the two of us it was fine as we had time to work on it. Now, with Miss E, it is just not fair to spend all that free time on doing up a house that we always intended on selling on anyway, and we have lost the heart and vision of it with the fact it’s just draining our cash.
-The long commute Mr P has to and from work. This is a major factor (which is probably why the other house just didn’t work; it may have been a case of right house, wrong location). As it stands Mr P doesn’t get to see very much of Miss E at all, and she misses and needs daddy input into her life. It would be nice to have more family time.
-To clear debts. This house just increases our debts further with all the work and issues we have had to sort that keep mounting up. We can longer afford to do this, so we need a few years in somewhere that needs minimal work to breathe and just enjoy living again.
-Problems with rats…this is still an ongoing issue (although for now they have left us in peace) and the stress of the last 3 months of rat toture is just too much especially with a little one to think of.
-Issues with neighbours; this is a big one for me as all summer I am trapped in the house due to the obnoxious, bullying behaviour of our neighbours’ 4 children while they are on break. Yes, children can really cause that much emotional and mental stress to an adult to the point where after 4 years they can’t take anymore of it! It is unfair to Miss E not to be able to use her garden when she pleases (and she loves her garden), and I can never let her out if they are in for fear of what they might say to her.
So that’s a brief little overview of the last few months and what has been keeping me busy and away from here. Now, I am just kept busy with things like stripping wallpaper so we can finish the house up and get some buyers in to look around!