As I write, I am waiting for Mr P to come home early. He shouldn’t be coming home early, except that our poor dogs are trapped. At night time they sleep in our garage as they hate being in the house to sleep. They enjoy cozying up in their crate together in the garage and are happiest there. During the day when I want Miss E to have some time in the garden, I cannot have the dogs out at the same time. it just doesn’t work. They are in the paddling pool, walking through her painting area, eating any sensory play materials, and often knocking her over. We are in the process of sectioning off the garden so we can all be out at the same time, but have some boundaries!
Well, today like other days, I have popped the dogs to bed for a little while so Miss E can enjoy the garden dog free. After we were done at it was time for lunch, I went like normal to let them out and give htem their treat……..the garage door wouldn’t open. I pulled and pulled, but that thing wouldn’t budge. It’s stuck at the top and the top hinge is somehow broken, so no amount of willing it to move helped. I also don’t have the know how or strength to do anything more. So that is why Mr P is on his way home. They have now been stuck in the garage for 5 hours. A mega great walk is due to them upon their release!
So that is the first bad happening in the Mummy’s Heart animal kingdom. Miss E was super tired after a very long day yesterday and a very late bedtime so she wanted to go to bed early. She has some fish in her room and before bedtime the fish get fed. I dropped some food in and went off to get Miss E her toothbrush. When I looked at the tank again there didn’t seem to be much excitement about the food I put in, so I had a closer look. Only one fish was eating. I looked and looked for the other and couldn’t see it. This is nothing unusual as it likes to hide in certain spots, but I checked all the usual spots and there was no fish. Then I spotted it, stuck down the side of the tank between and ornament and the tank wall. It had taken to going down there lately and clearly this time it had gone too far and managed to get wedged there. And so, along with the trapped dogs, we have a dead fish. It hasn’t been dead for long as I saw them both alive this week, but this awful heat has meant that decomposition has already begun.
It’s a horrible day. The first time the dogs have ever been trapped and the first time one of our pets has died. It is already sad and Miss E isn’t really at an age of comprehending, but I dread the day when she is a bit older and any one of our remaining troop dies, especially the dogs as she adores them.
Hurry home, Mr P!
This Thursday was the funeral of little Matilda Mae daughter of Jennie over at Edspire. We set up this corner in the lounge where we had a candle burning for the day and a little bottle of bubbles sat beside it (Matilda loved bubbles). So, on Thursday, every time upon leaving or entering the lounge this scene drew our hearts and minds to Matilda’s family as they said their final good byes to her and we were able to pray for them throughout the day. This little girl’s life and death have touched so many. It has touched me deeply for many reasons. One of those reasons is that little girl’s personality and likes and dislikes were so much like my own little girl. She has also taught me so much as well…..she has reminded me that life is precious, life is short, life is a gift, so make the most of it. Enjoy every minute of it. I hold my daughter tighter, I love on her more, I take as many photos as I can, I have lost the guilt, the pressure of keeping up with the house, because the time I spend with my daughter is more important than ensuring my house is as neat as pin incase guests might stop by. Every time I think of Matilda Mae I want to go pick up my daughter and hold her tight because you just never know when it might be the last time. I choose to be more gentle, more relaxed, more here all because of one special little girl’s life and tragic death. I hurt so bad for her parents and what they are going through. I cannot begin to imagine the pain and distress, the struggle of carrying on with life without your child. This situation has reminded me that I am not guaranteed another minute never mind another year with my own child, so I need to make it count.
Matilda Mae, you are such a special angel child. I am thankful to God for the joy you have brought to this earth in your all too short nine months. Thank you for teaching, me, a stranger so much. Your Mummy is also such an inspiration; you were blessed with a wonderful family. I wish I had the privilege of meeting you this side of heaven, but I know you are lighting up the skies with your beautiful smile and I look forward to meeting you one day. xxx
It has been a month since the awful tragic news of Matilda Mae’s death. I shared the story of this little girl and her family back then. This week is her funeral I do believe. Her mama is struggling. She is missing her baby so very much. She is frightened about the funeral, frightened about living without her daughter. She is struggling to find a way to live with the ache in her heart. She is exhausted trying to entertain and be happy for her lovely twins who need their Mummy oh so much as they process their grief in their own way. My heart will forever be a little bit broken for this family. I cannot begin to fathom the deep grief and anguish they live through on a daily basis. Please stop by her blog and show her some love. A simple I’m sorry for your lost might just place a little bit of a soothing balm on her aching heart today.
This week, a family lost their 9 month old daughter. She had just learned to crawl and sadly in her sleep she got herself turned and crawled so her head was under her blankets and she suffocated. I am crying just writing this. Please go here and read the beautiful letter this mother wrote to her daughter and leave some kind words, and pray for this family; hold them close to your heart. I keep trying to put myself in this family’s shoes. Our stories are very similar and parenting style are also so similar and I keep thinking how devastating it would be for me to walk up to our bedroom and not hear that gentle baby breathing rhythm. I cannot begin to imagine the anguish and heartbreak for a mother to come across such a scene and the strength and courage involved to face the coming days without the joy and delight of the child that is so dear to us. I cannot begin to fathom the grief involved with burying your child. For those of us who still have our children, we need to thank God for EVERY moment we get to be with them. We are not guaranteed anything more than the moment we are living, so let’s make them count. Let’s show our children how much we love them. Let’s not tire of being with them, nurturing them, and caring for them. They are a gift bestowed upon us for a specific amount of time. None of us knows how long that time will be, so cherish every second, give your all, be gentle, savour every moment, and give thanks, and please, please keep this dear family in your thoughts and prayers.
Yesterday, one of my aunts died very suddenly. It was quite a shock when I heard the news. Hearing about her sudden death brought home to me once again that life is a gift, not to be taken forgranted, but to be lived with purpose and gratefulness. Don’t waste your life. All we have is this moment. We are not promised tomorrow, just the moment we are currently in. let’s make all those moments count and be thankful for the life we have to live.