Tag Archives: parenting

Nine Months With a Rainbow

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So, it’s been 9 months since our rainbow baby made her entry into the world.

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I think we have all now adjusted to life with Rainbow Baby and being a family of 4.  Miss E took to her baby sister much better than I ever dreamed she would.  She absolutely adores Rainbow Baby who adores her in return.  There is so much laughter from them both when they are together.

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Rainbow Baby is an absolute delight.  She is full of smiles and giggles, and she knows how to use her voice.  She isn’t shy in getting her thoughts and opinions known especially when it comes to meal times.  🙂  Needless to say we have all enjoyed getting to know Rainbow Baby and she has brought so much to our family already.  We are looking forward to many more months and years with her.  Happy 9 months, baby girl!

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Our Rainbow Came To Join Us

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So, our rainbow baby has arrived, and she’s now almost 3 months old, but better late than never to record the birth story 🙂  From the beginning my envisaged birth was a water birth at home with just my husband and eldest daughter present.  I awoke at 4am on the morning of her birth with a knowing feeling that it would be the day.  Once again, it was a weekend, so Mr P was at home.   We went about our day.  Miss E was rather tired, so she went for a nap and we stayed home from church.  I lay in bed most of the morning.  Around 10:30 am I got the odd surge but they averaged about 2-3 an hour from then.  At 11:30 am, I came downstairs to tell Mr P it was time to fill the pool as we would be having the baby that day.  He was rather dubious due to the fact I was extremely calm and didn’t seem to be in labour, but he did as instructed.  By lunchtime I decided it was the right time to call my reflexologist for a treatment.  She arrived around 1:45pm and gave me a treatment.  Things were still very chilled out at this point.  She left again about 3pm saying to go lie down and rest and she felt by 10pm the baby would be here.  After she left, I told Mr P that I didn’t think it was going to take that long and I thought by 7pm baby would be here and Miss E would still be up.  I went to lie down as I felt quite tired.  Through this time Mr P and Miss E had gone to the shops for something we were out of, sorted our dinner which was cooking and smelling delicious and picked blackberries from the garden.  By 4pm, I couldn’t lie down anymore as my body was telling me to stay upright, so I paced around the upstairs listening to some music, swaying back and forth while Miss E and Mr P played in the garden.  Mr P came in around 4:40pm to get the rest of dinner ready.  I told him I was  heading to the shower for some heat therapy as my back was a little painful then.  By now the surges had been coming quickly for an hour, so I knew we had hit active labour stage, but everything was still very calm.  I came downstairs at 5pm in time for dinner, and Miss E had hurt herself, so I gave her a cuddle.  When I set her down again and stood up, I had one very sharp intense pain, and I said to Mr P that it was time for me to get in the pool and to bring me dinner after he and Miss E were finished.  So while they ate, I breathed in my essential oils and listened to my music.  He brought me my dinner and I was so looking forward to eating that lamb curry, but as soon as I had the plate in my hand the intensity of the contractions increased and they came one on top of another, so i never got to eat more than 3 bites, as every time I tried to eat a mouthful, I’d have to hand everything back to Mr P so I could sway in the water.  I gave up in the end and asked him to start the cd again, get more oils in my burner, and also to remain by the pool.  Miss E was also there.  About 6pm, I had 5 intense surges that made me cry a little and think I couldn’t do anymore without relying on some gas and air and only one person could get me that; and my dreams of my unassisted birth seemed to be slipping away, so, feeling rather defeated, I asked Mr P to call for the midwife.  I now know those 5 surges and little cry was my transition phase.  While Mr P was on the phone I knew the baby was coming and would be born as I had always envisaged.  At 6:16pm, surrounded by the love of her closest family and born into an environment of peace, calm, safety, and familiarity, Miss K entered the world easily weighing a healthy 10 lb 1, and I delivered her and lifted her from the water myself.  Nothing can describe the feeling of birthing your child alone and being the first to lay hands on them.  It was the most natural experience and just as nature intended.  I also gave my firstborn the gift I so wanted to bestow upon her; the gift of seeing firsthand that birth is a natural and normal occurrence, not a medical procedure, and when you focus on the right things, surges are not painful, your body relaxes and births can be an enjoyable and empowering experience.  I have thoroughly enjoyed both my births, and I am so thankful to God to have been in much better health this time round and to have learned so much from both births.  Hopefully, I can put what I have learned to good use in future.  I praise God for the safe arrival of Miss K to our family, and for the wonderful gifts she will bring to our family as she grows and reveals more of who she is.

 

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Messy

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One thing I am learning and becoming all too aware of as my daughter grows is that motherhood is messy.  It’s messy in a literal, physical sense where there are always sticky hand prints around, or toys in the wrong places, or mud trekked in through the house via the soles of little shoes.  I am ok with that side of messy.  Yeah, I have to clean up the same thing a gazillion times, but still, I can cope with that.

There’s the other side of motherhood that’s messy though and not so easily cleaned up-the emotional side.  Ever get those days when everyone just falls apart?  Voices rise, tears fall, harsh words come gushing out, doors slam.  The mess is nasty, and hard to sort through.  It puts cracks in relationships, builds barriers and everything is stressful.

We have had so many of these messy days lately.  Developmental changes have brought new challenges for both of us as we try and figure out how to live harmoniously with each other, with our needs and our personalities.  Miss E has been fashioned by God’s good hand into a very independent and strong character.  All the qualities that are such a difficulty for me right now as her mother, will, one day, stand her in good stead as she ventures off into the world alone.  But it’s getting from here to that point that is proving difficult.  It’s a fine balancing act and a skilled dance as we figure this whole thing out together, and often we get it all wrong.  We fail to understand each other.  We fail to communicate with each other in loving ways.  We fail to choose loving reactions.  Yesterday was one such messy day.

On these messy days, I am thankful for two gifts:  GRACE.  Grace to try again.  Grace to start anew.  Grace to change.   Rich, abundant grace.  Where would we be without it?  NATURE.  Our happy place.  A therapy for the soul.  A place we can go together to ease the stresses and rediscover our way on this journey.  There is colour therapy given via the flowers and the greenery, music therapy from bird song, the wind, water passing by, raindrops falling.  There is peace, time to reflect, time to reconnect.  Grace and nature: our balm to soothe away the strife.  How do you cope with the messy days of parenting?  How do you reconnect with your child?IMAG0604

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Being a parent is one of the hardest things you will ever do, but, in exchange, it teaches you the meaning of unconditional life.

~Nicholas Sparks~

Thoughtful Thursdays

Rainbows

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Happy New Year, even though it is already 16 days old 🙂  Every new year brings its own set of changes, joys, and challenges.  This year our big change is that our family is due to expand.  We found out in November that we are expecting a summer rainbow baby!  We are thrilled and delighted and Miss E seems very excited about the arrival of “our baby”.  So far things with the baby seem well, but, as with Miss E ,I am finding this pregnancy a challenge and taxing on my health.  Thankfully this time around I have the help of a homeopath on board which I didn’t have for Miss E, and through the Candida treatment, I have been able to, for the most part, say good bye to the awful Hyperemesis and leave being sick in the first trimester.  Makes me wish I’d known I had Candida troubles a long time ago as my pregnancy with Miss E may have been very different.  I am, however, still having problems with my heart this time which is rather concerning.

Part way through my pregnancy with Miss E I developed Supraventricular Tachycardia or SVT causing black outs and difficulty breathing and many trips to hospital.  They were unsure then whether or not I had always had an irregular heartbeat and the stress of the pregnancy had just exasperated it or whether it was because of the repeated violent vomiting due to the hyperemesis.  In any case, they were adamant it would return to normal once Miss E was born, and despite us asking for a referral to a cardiologist more than 6 weeks after she was born because it was still horrendous they said it’d be fine.  It never ever went back to “normal” but it became bearable.  Now, however, as this pregnancy progresses it is getting worse again with each week that goes by.  I have been blessed this time with a midwife who is also a cardiology nurse and has dealt with mothers with SVT in pregnancy so that helps to allay my fears that this time when it gets really bad I have someone who has more understanding!  last time when I went to the GP initially about it because I was so concerned, I was told it was a UTI and prescribed antibiotics?!!?!

Anyway, I am hoping that I am blessed with good health for the remaining months of this pregnancy so I can enjoy the last little while of it being just Miss E and me before we welcome this new little one into our lives.

When Did You Show Up?

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I had determined in my heart I would be a “Yes Mum”.  The one who takes the time to play, takes the time to get out the “messy” stuff.  The one who isn’t bothered if an activity is going to take an age to clear up afterwards.  I wanted my daughter and any subsequent children to have memories of fun, of happy play, of an adult who engaged, of an adult who valued them and wanted to involve them.

But somehow, at some point, SHE showed up.  SHE sucked the fun out.  SHE was too busy cleaning, sorting or something else as equally important.  SHE found it too much effort to get out the paints.  SHE didn’t want to have mess in the house afterwards.  You know who SHE is?  SHE is “No Mum”.  The grouchy, huffy, busy, boring grown up.  Yep, somehow, SHE arrived in our lives.  I didn’t see her coming.  SHE crept in bit by bit I think, but I realised SHE was around when I saw how much SHE had taken over.

When your toddler goes around going, “no, no, no” repeatedly, it’s time to step back and examine!  When I did that I saw myself.  No, Miss E, no.  No, don’t touch that.  No, don’t do that.  No move from there.  No, I am busy.  No, I need to vacuum.  No, not right now.  No, let’s do this.  No, no, no, no, no!  Is it any wonder she’s going round repeatedly saying the word?!  Where is “Yes Mum” anyway?!  Why wasn’t I informed she was departing until she had departed?!

That’s all immaterial really; the main thing to do here is bring her back!  I am determined to be “Yes, Mum” again.  It is easier, for now, to say no.  It is less hassle, but I know, one day, those little arms will no longer be outstretched while a little mouth is saying “up, up!”  She won’t always run round the house with everything that has words on it going, “read, read!”  I need to be “Yes, Mum” now, before it’s too late.

Time To Call It A Day?

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Well, before we left one of the cats I was caring for ran off the first day I took over their care which was rather stressful.  On Tuesday, I took over caring for another cat, my all time favourite.  Usually, this goes without a hitch.  I’ve never had any issues with him, and, after the stress of my last charges, I was looking forward to an easy time of it.  Alas, it has not been so.  The cat has had a poorly tummy.  Thinking this was due to some of his treats, I stopped these, but it hasn’t helped.  I decided it was time to let his owner know.  She had me call the vet this evening and now I have to take him in the morning as he may need antibiotics.  Since starting pet sitting at the beginning of 2011, I have never ever had to take any of my furry friends to their vets.  So this is a first.  I am wondering how I am going to deal with a cat who hates to be in a cat basket and at the vet along with a toddler.  This has got me wondering if it’s time to give up pet sitting entirely.  It was fine before becoming a mummy as I had all the time in the world, could stay late, go at any time of the day etc to deal with the pets.  Now, my main priority is Miss E and the past two jobs I’ve had on have caused more stress than I need.  I shouldn’t have to drive around housing estates and worry about a missing cat, and I don’t really have the same freedom any more to be running to a vets with someone’s pet.  The extra pocket money is nice, but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s worth it.  So, I guess I have some soul searching to do and some praying as well.  Maybe this is God’s way of telling me it’s time to call it a day….